“Shit, damn . . .” A few more choice words poured out of Antoinette’s mouth, the pert arch of her cupid’s bow framing every crass syllable.  She shook the little plastic meter again and prayed for a new answer.  Adding a few more colorful phrases to her repertoire, she tossed the test into the trash bin beside her along with the other two identical meters from the day before.  It didn’t matter how many times she peed on a stupid little pale indicator stick, the mocking little blue plus sign appeared every time.  This new one had even been more condescending with a shiny blinking “positive” next to the indicator.  A baby would come now, it was just a matter of time, and she supposed, a great deal of effort.  With her mission in Romania done, she seemed to have more time than she needed on her hands these days.  Toni pulled herself onto the green marble countertop of her Miami home and folded her legs into her body.  When had this happened?  Hadn’t she been careful?  Counting back on the tips of her fingers, she stopped with a groan.  Kythria.  It could only have been Kythria.  No, they hadn’t been careful.  She hadn’t been thinking at all, much less careful.  Toni could kick herself.  She never should have been there in the first place, much less have gotten wrapped up in his mess.  She didn’t even want to think about him, and here she was, having his baby. Toni let out a weary sigh and turned her body to look at herself in the tiled bathroom mirror.  Her eyes looked hollowed out and grey, even to herself.

Out of habit, Toni pulled her inlaid lacquered cigarette case out of her khaki’s pocket and flared the end of one thin tube to life.  She took two long drags and leaned her head against the mirror with another exhaled sigh.  Drifting one leg down, she kicked her hand knit crimson swirled socks back and forth a few times, but didn’t notice them.  She seemed to be doing this a lot these days: sighing and staring out into space.  She blew out her smoke in a series of little rings just for amusement.  It didn’t work.  Mentally, Toni began ticking off the people she would have to call.  Her mother was on the top of the list, of course, but she might delay that headache by calling her step-father first and apprising him of the situation for support against the dragon lady.  Her step-father would understand and calmly help her work through the steps for care.  Her mother, on the other hand, would have a melt-down and scream and rally against her stupidity, before insisting Toni work everything out with the father-to-be in order to achieve the happily ever after she never had.  Or, she would give Toni that look and sigh, which simply meant ‘I can’t believe I birthed you and you still became as stupid as to fall into the same mistake. I am so disappointed with you.’  Her mother had perfected that passive aggressive speech and Toni had already been on the receiving in more times than she could count.  It didn’t matter that there wouldn’t be a ‘happily ever after’ with the father.  Toni wasn’t interested in that anyway.  Appearances were everything to her mother, even when Toni could care less what people saw or thought.  It didn’t matter that Toni’s own father had not cared for her mother’s appearance with a child and had gone out of his way to deny having a daughter.

She brought the cancer stick back up to her lips and frowned in disgust.  ‘Well, there goes that habit,’ she thought as she held the end under the tap and twisted the cold water on.  ‘One bad habit down, only a million more to go.’  She chewed on the edge of her thumb nail for a moment before making another silent decision.  Toni pushed her stocking feet to the floor and added another name to her list: the father.  She figured she would have to tell him eventually, and that would mean another confrontation with the high and mighty Mr. Brighton himself.  That was the last name on her list – after her sisters and the paternal grandmother, who would dote on her and love her, but would not insist she tell her son.  Or, maybe not.  Toni reasoned that she could keep this to herself at least a few months longer.  She had at least a month before she would start to show and another 5 or 6 more before she would hire a midwife and seclude herself at her parent’s island home to wait for the baby to be born.  That meant there was still plenty of time before he would even notice something was different.

Of course, she would still have to tell Madeline.  Not that Toni wanted to call her best friend, turned not speaking neighbor, but Chase’s fiancée did deserve to know that she would be a step-mother before they were even married.  She didn’t even know why she wasn’t speaking with Madeline anymore.  Ever since she had returned home from her tour of duty around Europe and Asia, the girl she had been inseparable from hadn’t given her anything more than a dirty look.  Toni flicked off the light in the bathroom and headed downstairs to the kitchen.  Her mother would be in Manhattan this time of year at her step-sister’s fashion show.  The question was, did she want to relay the joyous news to her over the phone, where she could zone out indefinitely, or did she want to give it in person where her sisters and step-father would be there to support her if her mother flew off the handle?

“Ouch!” Antoinette drew back her fingertip into her mouth as she got a light static shock from her light switch.  She glanced down at the offending socks again and made a mental note to call her office and purchase more yarn.  She could have her assistant make her purchases, but it would give her a chance to get out of the house and wander around a vendor’s shop for a while.  She would have plenty of down time to churn out more socks for the soldier’s overseas and at least a baby blanket for the hospital while working on items for her own baby.  Toni sighed again as she pulled out a half-loaf of honey whole wheat bread and slipped a slice into her toaster.  She rummaged around in the cabinet for a second and pulled down a jar of almond butter.  She shook it and made another mental jot to buy another jar from the farmer’s market.  Cursing under her breath, she added one more check box to call her doctor and ask about her medications and their effects on pregnancy.  She had stopped taking her birth control after the first missed cycle and had simple prayed that it was the stress of the new students and flights overseas.  She also supposed she needed to call her other doctors as well, but that could wait until after she spoke with her mother.  If nothing else, her mother, or Chase’s at the very least, would know what she needed to do.  This was all very new to her, but there was no doubt she would make it through just like everything else.

While she was mentally forming to-do lists, the toaster dinged and Toni picked out the piece, slathering a healthy amount of creamy almonds on the top.  Taking a bite of her toast, she picked up her cell off the stone counter top and pushed the buttons to her step-father, Thomas’s office number in Dallas.  He should still be in Dallas this week, before handing the reins back to her step-brother and heading to New York and South Carolina.  She slid onto a barstool and glanced at the clock.  The metallic hands clicked silently toward three o’clock.  If it was only three, which meant he would still be at work for another two hours his time before catching a plane to New York and her mother, so she could safely reach him.  It also meant that she had another two or more hours before he would talk to her mother, because he wouldn’t risk her mother’s ‘shoot the messenger’ personality by telling her over the phone.  If Toni was lucky, she would be able to convince him not to tell her mother at all, and she would be able to ease things over herself, in person.  Putting down her cell, she pushed the speaker button and laid her head against the cool stone island top.  She danced her fingers across the tile in an abstract ballet while counting the rings out loud.  Thomas’ secretary answered brightly, and Toni frowned, lifting her head to check that she had called his direct extension.  Her step-father always answered his own phone while in the office.  She calmly told the woman she was looking for her step-father, and was informed that he had taken an earlier flight and would not be back for some days, but she could leave a message if she so chose.  Toni thanked the woman and hung up, closing her phone and laid her head back against the counter.

“Damn, damn, and double damn!”  Toni muttered to herself and debated calling his cell phone.  She dialed through six digits before putting the phone back down.  She twisted her lops and snorted.  No, she would have to fly to Manhattan and do it all in person.  It was the only way she would have any support since if she knew her family, her step-father would not be alone from the moment he set down at La Guardia.  Marching out of the kitchen and into her office, she flopped down into her padded office chair and pulled up the travel site on her desktop, pausing in her clicking to call her secretary.

“Lucy, I want you to take messages and call me for anything important.”  She paused to let her secretary catch up since she hadn’t even allowed the woman to say hello.

“Yes, hello, Lucy.  It’s Toni.  I’m going to be out of town for the next week or so.”  She waited for an appropriate response and then went on, her fingers flying across her keyboard as she waited to find the right flight times.  “Just send me the specs on that new yarn to my phone, and I’ll test the samples when I get back, or I’ll send you an address.  “She surveyed the options on the screen and clicked off one.  “I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone, but I’m booking a hotel and flight to New York right now.  I’ll fill you in on everything when I get back.”  Toni stopped to read her computer screen and click for her hotel.  Her secretary listed off the office plans for the next week.  “Yes, yes, you and Kate can handle everything with testing and send me the address and I’ll meet with that new vendor.  I completely trust the two of you like it was your own baby.  Just send me the times and places and his number.  I’ll call him from the airport to set it all up.”  She pushed the print button and listened as her printer surged to life.  Toni let her secretary prattle on while she headed back up the stairs to her bedroom.  “No, that’s the only meeting I’m setting up.  I’ll need all the time I can get with my family.”  She paused. “Okay, I’ll be waiting, and Lucy?  Thank you.”  Antoinette clicked off her phone and pulled out her suitcase.  It was going to be a long day.

Total count:  1,962                      Total to go:  48,062